A letter to Parents
How to help your athlete succeed in life!

On March 21, 2015 we had Grayson Dubose, head volleyball coach at Utah State, at Club V training our coaches.  It was a rewarding and fun experience.  Grayson covered topics from technical and tactical training to more personal information.  He's a great coach but an even better person.  The topic of 'parents' was brought up.  One question was "do you get a lot of parents calling or trying to get involved?"

His response was that he loved talking with parents and was willing to chat with them about anything other than playtime and volleyball decisions within his program.  He went on to say that the role of a parent is to support and encourage their child.  He spoke of teaching kids to have a growth mindset (learning mindset) and to encourage them to work hard.  He said we can control our effort and in today's world of entitlement it is extremely valuable to help kids develop character.  He went on to describe the type of athlete he recruits.  "Besides some physical traits and abilities we need our athletes to have we recruit kids based on their character.  We recruit kids of character, not characters."  Grayson has a daughter who currently plays club volleyball.  He said he just wants her to learn to work hard and to take personal ownership of her goals.  "She will succeed if she chooses to.  I will not and cannot do it for her."

His thoughts inspired us.  We want to encourage you to support your athletes.  We view support like helping someone who is ill.  Supporting them can be trying to understand how they feel and being sympathetic to their needs.  Supporting them can be driving them to the doctor, picking up prescriptions, even reminding them to take their medication.  Supporting them can be loving them.  You can't take the sickness away by yelling at the doctor and insisting he fix it right now.  The doctor is there to do their best and advise what they feel is the best way to heal.  You need to allow the process of healing and recovery to take its course.  It is great to be protective.  It is great to want the best for your kids.  It is great to feel their pain.  Let them grow.  Provide opportunities!  Guide them to solutions, don't solve it for them.  Imagine doing their homework for them all through school.  They will graduate, but how prepared will they be when they go away to college?  Carol Dweck, author of Mindset, taught us that kids who embrace challenges and are taught to give effort will be more successful in life.  We all face setbacks.  How we deal with those setbacks really is what defines our character.

We love and appreciate all of you.  We want the best for each athlete.  Please help us identify any inappropriate behavior by our staff.  We will fix it.  Please prepare your athlete for the path, not the path for your athlete.  Together we can watch them grow into the leaders this world desperately needs.  Thank you for your support.  We will push forward!

Grayson shared this amazing article with us.  Please read:

Want to Raise a Good Person?  Stop Nurturing Your Child's Self-Esteem

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